Melissa

Team BaadSheep: Who looks better in an ugly sweater and why: you or Chuck Norris?
Melissa: It would have to be me. But don't tell Chuck Norris, I hear he once shaved a Baby Tiger and 3 Golden Retrievers to make himself his own Ugly Sweater and he sewed it together using the hair from his beard.

Team BaadSheep: If you could get belligerently drunk, do a small mountain of cocaine and hit the town with any one person, alive or dead, who would it be?
Melissa: I bet if teenage Jesus was alive today I bet he'd enjoy getting drunk, do some blow, maybe setting fire to someone's house and get some hookers. I mean, that's usually a typical weekend for me. Plus I bet his underage ass would look hot in an Ugly Sweater.

Team BaadSheep: Does a six-pack of beer or a bottle of wine fit somewhere into your daily workout regimen?
Melissa: My weekdays consist of an all liquid diet and that liquid pf choice is Wine. I especially like to drink at work. Preferably out of coffee mugs, empty soda cans, Shot Glass, Sippy cups, Tupperware...Basically anything other than a wine glass. I'm a classy girl, But I'm not rich enough to own a wine glass.

Team BaadSheep: Would you rather have the avian flu or swine flu?
Melissa: Whichever one enables me to still enjoy a bottle of wine and FINALLY be able rent and watch all 4 seasons of Sweet Valley High without vomiting.

Team BaadSheep: If we had a million dollars we'd spend it on 100 million pennies and make it hail on strippers. You?
Melissa: Use about $70 on gas to and from Vegas and bet $999,860 on Black. Then Effin' Win. Bitches.

Team BaadSheep: If you knew where to find the black market, what would you buy?
Melissa: KFC's secret recipe and/or a Man-Servant...Duh.

Team BaadSheep: Twinkies or Cheeto puffs? Just kidding, you're a model; you shouldn't be eating either. Seriously though, pick one, fatty.
Melissa: Shut up jackass. I'm trying to lose 15 pounds. Way to make me feel more self-conscious.

Team BaadSheep: If you could rock an ugly sweater anywhere in the world, where would that be?
Melissa: On top of Puff The Magic Dragon flying above the Reading Rainbow.

Team BaadSheep: If you were on your first date with BaadSheep Rob's mom Heidi, where would you take her and would you get some?
Melissa: Ice Fishing. I hear that always gets you laid.

Team BaadSheep: If we were into same-sex sex, we'd totally sex up John C. Reilly. What member of your sex would you sex up if given the opportunity?
Melissa: Easy. Zooey Deschanel.

Team BaadSheep: There are few things in this world we love more than spontaneous Pants Off Dance Offs. How quickly could you be ready to PODO? (With the help of tear away pants, our record currently stands at 3.6 seconds)
Melissa: I'm always ready for a good PODO. In fact, I'm already pant-less while I take this interview just in case someone turns out the lights and blasts the music!

Team BaadSheep: Dive bar and a tall can of PBR, or bass-bumping club and a Red Bull-vodka?
Melissa: Sake Bombs in an all-you-can-eat Sushi and Karaoke Bar.

Team BaadSheep: Fuck, marry or kill: Lady Gaga, Kim Jong-il and a Krispy Kreme donut.
Melissa: Kill a Krispy Kreme Donut (Only if it's covered in Coconut Flakes), It's not? Well then Fuck you. I would Marry Kim Jong il and Lady Gaga and their anagrammed name would be Anal Doggy Jig Milk.

Team BaadSheep: If you were a professional writer of late-night, soft-core pornography scripts, what would you title your magnum opus?
Melissa: Well, I suppose since it's almost Christmas and all I'd go with a simple name like "A Jizzmas Story", and just like the real "Christmas Story" I will play it for 24 hours straight on Christmas...What a great way to wake up on Christmas morning!

Team BaadSheep: Tell us one last juicy tidbit you want our millions of daily visitors (give or take a few) to know about you.
Melissa: I have yet to grow out of wetting the bed.